Exam Time

It’s dark. The air is thick and muggy, but it’s not hot. He’s just laying there so peaceful, his eyes flutter, deep breaths. Ever so slowly…ahhh good morning love. He smiles. I'm glad to see the swelling in his foot went down. I lay next to him. His eyes are relaxed, he breathe a sigh of relief like he's happy to see me as soon as he wakes up. Look at him…his eyes such a pretty shade of blue, his hair perfectly done up in a bed head mohawk. He says he's cold and pulls me in close to him…he's defiantly not. The sweet smell of him is all I can smell, and like it was even possible he pulls me closer and Jessie start pulling on my elbow. “Wake up!! The exam is over with! Time to go chicka.” Damn I thought to myself, while smiling; as I looked around I knew I would see him tonight.

Ultimate High

Just stand there and listen. Listen to the conversations blur together into a low buzz in the background. The dust flying around in the air around you from all the spikes digging into the earth and bringing it back up with them. All the high-fives, fist bumps, slaps on their backs tears of joy and sadness, medals and plaques going around and the weight of empty hands. You hear the gun going off every once in a while same as the roar of the crowd.

****

After the long ride there you pull in. The other teams are running by in some form of their warm-ups. You and your fellow teammates get off the bus and walk down the dirt path. You pass all the opponents tent, you see them some with their iPods in getting into the racing mindset others talking and laughing, you then arrive at yours and place your stuff on the tarp and change into your running shoes. As you take a huge swig out of your nalgene coach gives warm up assignments.

****

4 hours later…Race time

After spending your time mentally preparing yourself, stretching, keeping yourself hydrated. As you change out of your warm-ups and into your uniform coach walks over and gives you your number he tells you to stay focused and to remember to watch your breathing and keep it under control. He tells you the importance of keeping your head clear and focused. As you and your other teammates walk towards the line you see the other people that just finished from the last race. You approach the line and establish your spot and do some last minute stretching, give your fellow teammates words of encouragement and wait till the person who is in charge of the whole thing walks out and explains the rules and then walks back to the side to give the cue. The whole place just gets so quiet you could almost feel the focus in the air. You get in that stance that you’ve practiced over and over, dig in your spikes to get the best possible grip, while fighting down the excitement and the butterflies that are slowly creeping up. As you turn your head and look at your teammates in the eyes and while saying a quick little prayer for them you give them the “let’s bring it” look and they nodded back in agreement. Gun goes off with a bang that is quickly drowned out by the roar of the crowd. Earth gets pulled up with the spikes while stirring up a cloud of dust.

****

You’re in the last leg of his rough 5K race. Sweat dripping off your brow, the wind roaring in your ears as you hears the people gasping for air while trying to keep up with you, dust and dirt getting stuck to the inside of your mouth as you breaths in deep gasps of air trying to steady your breath while going up the monstrous hill. As you gets up and over the hill and starts to lengthen your strides and very quickly passes many people and catches up with the leader. You sneak glances at each other through the very corner of your eyes, each feeling each others pain and how they were pushing on the very last ounce of energy, strength and adrenaline. You round the last corner and everybody thinks as one, one thought repeating in their heads “you will not accept defeat, you will win this race”, you full out sprint, your flats picking up dirt and throwing it behind you as you race to win. The distance quickly becomes shorter and shorter as you push them out the way to be first, you race to the finish line and way past it. Your arms go into the air, shirt come off, and sweat is pouring as you suck in as much air as possible, handshakes, congratulations, are said to the runners around you. Water is handed to you; you rinse your mouth out and throw the rest on your face. You find a spot out in a soccer field away from all the noise alone to think. As you stumble to the ground and lie on your back and throw your arm over your face to block the sun, breathes some deep cleansing breaths. The feeling you feel now was a sense of accomplishment knowing that there was absolutely nothing more left to give to that race. Knowing that you didn't give up and you pushed passed the pain, the sweat, the blood and tears, and gave it your all gave you that ultimate high. The absolute best feeling a runner will have.

The Movies

I pull into the parking lot and look at the clock, its 1:15 showed up 15 minutes early as usual even though I told myself not too. I stare at the clock and watch time fly, one minute passes and I get impatient. I take the keys out of the ignition, open and close the door. The gloss shined exceptionally bright, I checked my hair in the reflection, and I push the lock button on the remote three times so it beeps twice. I put the remote in my jacket pocket and place my hands in my pockets as I try to take my time getting to the ticket box. I get the ticket and go wait for him to arrive. I kind of have to jump a little to the tall chair at the table. I kind of pay attention to the TV screen playing the previews and space out when his relaxed voice pulls me back down to earth. His curly brown hair gives you that urge to run your fingers through it, those eyes that have seen just about everything you hope not to see in your lifetime. He was wearing a white, gray, and black plaid t-shirt with a black undershirt; he was also wearing the jeans I asked him too surprised he really wore them. The perfect guy skinny jeans, not tight in the front and perfect in the back, he has the cutest guy butt and his Nikes. He half way introduces me to his friend that he brought as we walk to our theater close enough to feel each other’s body heat. We sat down in the second from the top row on the way left; I sat down in the last seat and he sat next to me with his friend on his right. I got as comfortable as you can in a movie theater seat it leaned against the left arm rest and he looked at me with a smile I couldn’t resist. I asked him to put the arm rest up for me and like he read my mind he pushed the sticky armrest up and moved his hands so I could place my legs on his lap. His friend looked at him and said something I couldn’t hear and they laughed and he looked at me and started whispering again when they were done he just looked at me and smile his cute boyish smile. He leans over so close to whisper in my ear that our cheeks are touch and he tells me what they were talking about and how his friend told him to do something, and I asked him if he was comfortable doing it and he said no, which made me smile cause he was showing the respect he had for me, and I told him to say he did it and not to worry about it. After his friend gave up he gave me a leg massage, the kind that you would only get from a licensed masseur that’s how good it was; he gave me goose bumps a couple of time and chuckled. He got me so relaxed that I almost fell asleep during the movie; I guess that’s why he kept looking at me. When the movie was finished it took me a few to realize who was with him and gather up all the energy to stand. We leave the movie theater hand-in-hand wishing I didn’t have to go home wishing I had more time to spend with him. We walked outside and sat on the brick wall and his friend laid back a few feet, surprised that he kept his eye contact and used the cutest manners while showing his respect just made me want him even more. We got up and hugged tight as I melted into his arms; I buried my face his shoulder and took in a deep breath. He walked me to his car while his friend waited by the ticket window; he opened my door and I got in as I turned on the car. I rolled the window and just as I was about to get and give the kiss that had been long awaited on this date my phone buzzed and my mom’s picture and number popped up on the screen. Told him I had to pick up or she would start to freak, so I answered and he mouthed bye as she explained that she wanted a few things from Bojangles. Hating my mom so much for ruining the moment I mouthed sorry back and drove away.

Forever Changed

Wake up do the normal routine: get up, get clothes, get in shower, get out, do hair, put eye liner, go in room, put dirty clothes away, go into kitchen, take medicine, get snack, look at clock, 5:57, get school stuff in one spot, look at phone, 6:02, brush teeth, get stuff together, find hoodie, alarm on phone goes off, 6:10, find shoes, put them on, get stuff, leave house, 6:15, arrive at bus stop, listen to people complain, 6:21, bus arrives, get on, arrive at school, 6:34, sit and wait, and wait, and wait, wait, 6:45, fifth person to get off bus, spot out who I know, go stand with friends, talk, and talk, and talk some more, (don’t forget to laugh), 7:05, walk down hall, drop heather off at her class, walk to my class, people watch, arrive at class, 7:13, sit down in 1^st seat on very far table, place book bag and gym bag resting on table leg, place purse on table, place phone on table, sit back, people watch, 7:16, bell rings…

***

She wakes up…something is very wrong here… terribly horribly wrong. She got out of her bed, so quitly that you had to strain your ears to hear the sound of air flowing into one ear and out the other. She walked to her bedroom door and took what she could make out in, she could tell that someone was out there, there was a shadow moving back and forth, and she could faintly hear him talking to someone but couldn’t tell what he was saying. She looked through the crack in between the door and its frame; it was her forth removed cousin, or something like that she just remembers that day when that weirdo stepped into her house. Her mom said it was ok they were related somehow and that he would be staying here for awhile. She walks out of the room with hand covering her eyes, stupid bright light. She walks you to him to say good morning and he shot her this I'm gonna kill you now look, it gave her chills where she was standing. She went back in her room to get her clothes and was on her way to the shower when we walked up to her. The look in his eyes made the chills come back and shoot down her spine. He raised his hand backwards and swung with the strength of 10 men and knocked the clothes out of her arms and hit her head so hard that when it whipped back her neck popped. He looked at her with great intensity and said on the verge of yelling “what the fuck is your problem?!” See what her parents didn't know is that this only happened when he went out partying and his fiancée found out, except this time something went really wrong for this to be as bad as it now. She bent down holding her neck and the tears from exploding. That’s when she felt that sudden pain in her side from his fist, she fell and hit the ground with unbelievable force. It was so hard to breath from the agonizing pain in her head and side and from trying so hard not to show submission. He most of either realized that what he's done so far will already be noticeable or was relived for now. She quickly picks her stuff up and walked to the bathroom as normally as she could. When she got into the bathroom she coughed up enough blood to freak her out. She stuffed her clothes under the sink and slowly made her way to tell her mom that she would be staying home today. She made her way across the house ever so quietly. She crawled back into bed and cried herself to sleep like many mornings like this. Almost two years later and not many other bad mornings later he moved out, and that’s when she found out that that morning when she came up to say good morning his fiancée heard her voice and thought it was a girl that slept with him that night and his fiancée left him like that, on the spot. Ever since then her mornings have never been the same.

***

Wake up do the normal routine: get up, get clothes, get in shower, get out, go in room, put dirty clothes away, go into kitchen, take medicine, get snack, look at clock, 5:57, get school stuff in one spot, look at phone, 6:02, brush teeth, get stuff together, find hoodie, alarm on phone goes off, 6:10, find shoes, put them on, get stuff, leave house, 6:15, arrive at bus stop, 6:21, bus arrives, get on, arrive at school, 6:34, sit and wait, and wait, and wait, wait, 6:45, last person to get off bus, spot out who I know, pass them completely, (don't forget to not make eye contact), go find a secluded area and sit down, 7:05, walk down hall, walk to my class, arrive at class, 7:13, sit down in last seat on very far table, place book bag and gym bag resting on table along with purse, place phone in purse, put head down, 7:16, bell rings…

Should She?

As she steps off that last stair for the very last time, she took it all in. The weather was a perfect temperature of 75 degrees, even though the sky was currently clear she could tell that the storm was rolling in, and it is moving fast. The moon tonight was a perfect spotlight on the house. It hit everything just right so it looked perfect with a hint of hidden trouble. The wind started to blow the smell of fresh mulch mixed with the smell of freshly cut grass and new paint. And as the rain began to fall she couldn’t help but to let the dam break, and just let those warm salty tears mix with the cold rain as she remembers all those memories. She closes her eyes and lets the memories fill her taking in the rush of emotion from her past; love, guilt, hate, disgust, depression, joy, happiness, fear, emptiness, wholehearted. “I can’t just leave!” she thought to herself over and over trying to convince herself that if she left the lovely hell hole called home, she would be leaving a good chunk of her life behind. She knew she had to leave, but what about the friends that love her? What about the family that she would leave behind? She looked up, blinked through the rain mixed tears and looked at the huge yellow moon with all its beauty, then slightly to the right was the little red star, and exactly on the opposite side of the moon was the little dipper. For as long as she could remember when she saw one of them the others were exactly where they were meant to be, and if they weren’t there they would be greatly missed. She looks back down to see her ride pull into the driveway. As it did the moon made that car look very questionable with its boxed shape, and very flat dark purple so dark purple it almost looked black and blend into the night sky behind it, and the real darkly tinted windows didn’t help. She looks back up to the stairs and tries to burn that picture into her mind because she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see them again. Then she notices the lights come on in the house and the car door swings open and this is where she makes the greatest decision of her life….go to the iffy looking car and never ever see her loved ones again or tell the driver to just leave and attempt to stay alive at that thing that’s supposed to be home.

The Neighbrohood

It’s about 7pm; you can hear the clanking of dishes behind closed doors as families clean up after supper. The birds are singing off somewhere in the background as the dogs bark at run in circles awaiting the scraps. A gentle breeze comes over you as you look to the sky and notice the colors, it looks almost like an artist’s palate; some colors gently mixed and blended with each other and some just standing alone untouched bright, vibrant, lively as if that color was meant to be that way. The sun sets just past the tree line and you turn and face the opposite direction and see the moon mirroring the great ball of fire. Your legs are tired of standing so you decide to go sit on the patch of grass placed perfectly under that tree. You wriggle your toes and run your finger through the cool grass as you catch a lady bug off a blade grass. The red is almost a neon fire truck, a beautiful contrast against the fresh healthy grass. You count 11 spots before it flies away. You lay back to look at the clouds passing above you like perfect cotton balls uniquely pulled apart. The breeze comes over you one more time but this time the leaves from the tree fall gently to the ground one by one; and before you know it the ground around you is covered you close your eyes to take in the smells when someone brushes against you. You turn your head to face him. In his own way he looks perfect. How one of his eyes is always a shade lighter than the other. The not so perfect freckles on his face and the way he smile and how it’s always crooked. And how his eyes are always soft and relaxed even when he is enraged; the way he just always seems to know, and how he puts up with some of his friends because he knows they need him. When you think this moment in time couldn’t get any better he smiles and your heart melts.
***
You hear a faint ringing in the background and its growing louder and louder as if it was walking toward you. When you sit up and realize it’s time to go to work so you crawl out of bed making sure not to wake sleeping beauty, and you put your pants on. Grab your shoes in one hand and lean in to kiss him on the cheek and thank God that he's yours and also thank his for the best nap ever in history and pray for many more.

On the Front Deck

I sit there with him on the front deck, nobodies home but the dogs and myself. I hear the dogs playing inside the house and as I look up the wind blows just slightly and the smell of cigarettes fills the air, shortly following behind it and lingering just a tad bit longer his smell. Now to an everyday person they would think it’s just the sweet smell of spring mixed with the fresh rain but being around him enough I knew the difference. I looked up at him as some hair moved on his head, resisting the urge to run my fingers through it as he daydreamed about who-knows-what. His face was very relaxed as he came back to earth. As if on cue the dogs started to cry inside so I got up to clam them and took my seat back next to him, slowly inching myself closer and closer towards him, try to take in as much of him as possible before he had to leave, and fighting the urge to let my feelings for him take over as I laid my head on his shoulder. He asked why we couldn’t go inside; I ignored him and looked at my phone as a bug flew off the tree in front of us and I responded to him with a short just cause we need to stay out here. I tilted my head a little to the right to see his facial reaction to my answer and hoping he would look down so our eyes could meet, my little sisters bus pulled up and I shot up and told him we could go inside, knowing he had enough respect to not pull anything with my little sister there with me. We went and sat at the kitchen table as I watched her turn on SpongeBob. I leaned in and told him that I had a dream about him that night and left it as that, he responded with that look in his eyes like that “tell me more” look, but he knew I wouldn’t. “I will however show you the story I wrote about you.” I said. I pulled that up on my computer and I went to go change into something comfy. When I came back out I asked him how it was and he turned and looked at me. We stayed like that for awhile happy that with him sitting down in the chair we were finally eye level, I prayed that he would just kiss me already because I knew he was arguing with himself about that when he starts to rub the small of my back with gentleness and passion that I had felt before, I had the sudden want for him to stop fighting it and just kiss me already when a smile came across his face like he had heard that thought; but he caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall and said he had to go before his mom catches on to his sneaking around. I walk him to the front door, out of sight of my little sister, and he leans down and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him for added support, and I squeeze him tight molding our bodies together and like without any effort he breaks my hold and places me down gently in front of him. We walk out the front door together hand-in-hand he goes down about three steps so we are eye level again and hugs me tight one last time as he whispers bye in my ear. As he rides off on his bike I feel the emptiness of where he used to be and wishing in knew when we would see each other next; and hoping that tonight he will stop by my window for a little chat.