On the Front Deck

I sit there with him on the front deck, nobodies home but the dogs and myself. I hear the dogs playing inside the house and as I look up the wind blows just slightly and the smell of cigarettes fills the air, shortly following behind it and lingering just a tad bit longer his smell. Now to an everyday person they would think it’s just the sweet smell of spring mixed with the fresh rain but being around him enough I knew the difference. I looked up at him as some hair moved on his head, resisting the urge to run my fingers through it as he daydreamed about who-knows-what. His face was very relaxed as he came back to earth. As if on cue the dogs started to cry inside so I got up to clam them and took my seat back next to him, slowly inching myself closer and closer towards him, try to take in as much of him as possible before he had to leave, and fighting the urge to let my feelings for him take over as I laid my head on his shoulder. He asked why we couldn’t go inside; I ignored him and looked at my phone as a bug flew off the tree in front of us and I responded to him with a short just cause we need to stay out here. I tilted my head a little to the right to see his facial reaction to my answer and hoping he would look down so our eyes could meet, my little sisters bus pulled up and I shot up and told him we could go inside, knowing he had enough respect to not pull anything with my little sister there with me. We went and sat at the kitchen table as I watched her turn on SpongeBob. I leaned in and told him that I had a dream about him that night and left it as that, he responded with that look in his eyes like that “tell me more” look, but he knew I wouldn’t. “I will however show you the story I wrote about you.” I said. I pulled that up on my computer and I went to go change into something comfy. When I came back out I asked him how it was and he turned and looked at me. We stayed like that for awhile happy that with him sitting down in the chair we were finally eye level, I prayed that he would just kiss me already because I knew he was arguing with himself about that when he starts to rub the small of my back with gentleness and passion that I had felt before, I had the sudden want for him to stop fighting it and just kiss me already when a smile came across his face like he had heard that thought; but he caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall and said he had to go before his mom catches on to his sneaking around. I walk him to the front door, out of sight of my little sister, and he leans down and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him for added support, and I squeeze him tight molding our bodies together and like without any effort he breaks my hold and places me down gently in front of him. We walk out the front door together hand-in-hand he goes down about three steps so we are eye level again and hugs me tight one last time as he whispers bye in my ear. As he rides off on his bike I feel the emptiness of where he used to be and wishing in knew when we would see each other next; and hoping that tonight he will stop by my window for a little chat.